Being Victor Promo

W. H. Auden. Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

An in depth study of buttons.

So this is my thoughts on buttons. I have for a long while now wanted to take some time and talk about why I feel they play a crucial part in our society and how they come into our lives every day. If we did not have buttons we would let’s face it be living like cave men. What would we press? That is the question. I am sure you know all the different types of buttons but I will list them again just so we are all on the same page before I begin. There is of course the chocolate button which is a favorite to many people in our society and plays a huge part in many people’s lives. Then there is the button that you find on clothing but you can also find this button in other places. Many people like to collect this button. Then there is the biggest button of them all the one we press. You will find this button on almost everything from your TV remote to your mobile phone. So they are the three main types of buttons. I am going to start off with the most obvious button. It is not my favourite button but is very important.

The button that you find on clothes is very important for many people. Almost everybody in the world owns loads of these buttons. You will use this button everyday when you are buttoning up you jacket or even some fly’s on men’s trousers are now buttons not zips. This is where the phrase "buttoning up" or "button up" comes from and it is now a household phrase. This button nearly faced extinction in 1937 when the zip was invented. Many people for a time started to only buy zips because they wanted to fit in with the new wave of fashion but it was with the help of the anti zips protesters and the fact that they got stuck a lot of the time that the button was saved. The world tried the zip and did enjoy it and some people still use it today but also use the common button. I think that this is lovely that we are now in an era were buttons can consist alongside zips.

The common button also plays a part in the trading industry’s between old people. The button can sometimes be an elderly person’s only friend and in some cases old people have been brought together through there interest of collecting buttons. This started out as an interest in the older generation but it has now changed. There is now and underground world of button trading. People sell buttons on the internet and in auction houses for huge sums of money. This is led to an increase in crime which is a good thing and a bad thing. It is bad that mafias around the world are killing, stealing and smuggling buttons but at least it is not heroin. There are some people who have lunched hate campaigns against this button because of the deaths it has caused but I think that there will always be crime. If it was not buttons they were smuggling and trading then it would just be something else and we should just be happing that it is not weapons, drugs or children.

I think it is also important to note where else this button has come into the media. There have been many films about this kind of button. One of the more famous button films was "War of the Buttons." which is about children who fight each other and take the other boys buttons as trophies. This was a fantastic film with loads of underlying themes and subtext. For instance one of the subtexts was all about the underground button trade that is going on in really life. Then there was also the point it was making about how thousands of innocent children are forced to work in factories in Asia making buttons.

So to summarise this button. Old people love it. It played an important factor in the war against zips. It accounts for a large percentage of crime and everybody has a lot of them.

The next button I want to talk about is my favourite button the “Pressy Button”

 This button is used 12 billion times a day. It also has a huge control over our lives. It is a fact that without this button we would not be able to function as a society. We would be totally lost without this button. Can you imagine if this button just disappeared in a flash. It is almost not worth thinking about. There would be no television so people could no even find out what was going on. You could not turn on your radio and in some cases you could not even drive away to escape the riot that would break out in city’s. Your car central locking uses a button and some cars you need to press a button to start it. This is a terrifying thought that many of us have. This is why I love this button. It holds so much control over the world. More so than any other type of button. Then you have the king of the type of button. “The Big Red Button.” This of course is the button that the president of the United States of America has in his office and now in his car. With one press of this button the whole world could be blown up. This was a huge threat to the world and still is today. There has always been a tension between Russia and the USA when talking about nuclear weapons but without the button there would be no tension. Now I could say that if this button did not exist then there would be world piece which some people do say. It is on the banners of the anti pressy button group. However we were fighting along time before the button was invented. The invention of this button has just made it easer to kill each other.

This Button has also made its was in the television and film industry. It has now got its own show called “Push the button” and appears in many game shows. It has also been in loads of films. One recently was called “The Box”. This button was also in the media when companies avoided paying the button tax when shipping in buttons from over seas by calling them keys. They said that they were keys on a keyboard but the government sill saw them as buttons. The companies and organisations where done for tax evasion after a 3 year court case. They came to the conclusion that a key is just another name for a button.

Last but not least is the chocolate button.

This is the tastiest of all the buttons and the most loved with the fat community. In fact fat people love this button. There are some fat groups who have started a religion based around this button. They loved the chocolate button so much they invented the giant chocolate button. However this button is loved out with the fat community. In fact even skinny and normal people like this button to. It is a nice snack and very good for sharing amongst friends or even strangers on a train.

I do like this button but it is not my favourite for one reason. It has been proven that the chocolate button is the main cause of obesity. This button is so yummy that some people find it nearly impossible to stop themselves from eating it. I do myself have a soft spot for this button but I also have a thing called self control.

Well I hope you have enjoyed this blog and learned from it. I know most of and probably all of you are wondering why on earth I have not mentioned the belly button. I have decided to save that part of this in depth study until later. This way I will keep you all waiting and wanting more.

Puppy nightmare.

I thought I would let you all know about the troubles I had when given a 12 week old puppy to look after for a week. 

So we got my neighbors golden retriever puppy late on Tuesday night. He was so cute fluffy and at this point the whole family still loved him. 3am less so and 7am he was off the christmas card list. He was so loud through the night. Running about, howling at nothing and general whining. When I decided I couldn't take it anymore I got up and went downstairs to shut him up. I walked into the kitchen to find him lying down quite happy surrounded by paracetamol tablets. But not normal tablets these were triply strong tablets for my brother who had just broken his ankle. (Whole other story btw) I had only had him for about 12 hours. So that was the first problem. I had no idea what to do. Most of the packets were just chewed but there were some missing. So I called my mum and she got on the phone to the vet. He seamed fine though so I just kept two very good eyes on him and made sure he didn't fall over. 

So now we jump to Saturday. He has settled in now put is still very annoying. My mum calls me through and tells me to go out into the garden because the puppy has something. I go outside and see he has a massive mouse/rat between his front paws. When he sees me he gets excited and wants to play with me. So he picks it up and starts running around with it in his mouth. My mum comes running out with a loaf of bread and start throwing it at him to try and make him drop it. This gets him more excited as now everyone is running around including my other three dogs. So she offers him some bread but when he comes near her she just runs away because there is this massive thing hanging out his mouth. He then picks up the bread as well and swallows everything in his mouth including the rat. It was so disgusting and awful that I just had to burst out laughing. So this puppy who has just swallowed a rat is now trying to play with me. I tell you if you see a puppy do that it makes him not cute at all. 

So I go to phone the vet again but of course he had to do this on a Saturday so it is the emergency vet I have to call. They say that because the rat could have died from rat poison I need to bring him in. I needed to pay £150 to make this puppy be sick. It hurt. The vet said that he was going to be okay because he threw up the rat intact. Not even chewed a little bit. Then on the way home he gets car sick and throws up anyway. 

I do miss him now but at the time I was so glad to get rid of him, the noise and the stress of looking after someone's expensive puppy.